“I’m scared of love, Chantel.” - Aida
Chantel in her silence gives me (Aida) permission to dive in deeper, sit a bit more with that statement and listen.
Aida: “I’m scared to be hurt again. I’m scared of the uncertainty, of not knowing what is going to happen and to end up with disappointment once again. I’m scared to give him my all, only to be left depleted. I’m scared of building him up to something he just isn’t. Chantel, I’m scared of falling in love.”
Chantel: “Aida first thing you need to know is that you choose love, you don’t fall into it. You have options and you chose to give this man your attention so remember that this is a choice. When we say fall there is an impression that it was completely out of our control but it isn’t. When you love someone it’s because you chose him and choosing him meant you had (and still do have) other options. Seeing this immediately gets you out of the victim hood mentality because you know the power of choice is with you.
If you do choose him and he feels right then my advice to you is to walk in with wide open eyes, eyes that walk with awareness and reality seeing both the very ground we are stepping on while equally looking at the infinite sky, a beautiful balance of pieces of heaven and earth.
It is that balance between knowing your power of choice and deeply trusting in your choice.
You will always be surrounded by uncertainty and that is where you carry on with what you can control which is your self-love and the continuous attitude in love that you wish to receive be it from him or someone else.
I will never love my man more than I love myself because I am the foundation of myself - not him. I have walked into love with him because we agreed to be two separate individuals who choose to co-create together.
We love deeply but loving deeply doesn’t mean I must forget myself, forget caring for my heart, being aware of the reality of things..etc.”
Love with the right person, the person you will eventually choose means that you are embraced as you are, where your crazy individual language needs no translation but is just simply understood, welcomed and embraced. Love with the right person will insist you take care of your heart and you will never need to question whether he was the right choice because you walked into him (whether you did so consciously or sub-consciously)
I hope you start 2019 walking rather than falling into love. Thank you Chantel for reminding me to do so.