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Trust: Day 6 of 365 Days of Love

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Trust: Day 6 of 365 Days of Love

Welcome to 365 days of love! If you’ve been following the daily stories, welcome back! If this is your first time reading, amazing to have you and welcome! Here is the brief introduction to what we are doing here, but essentially I (and hopefully you by sharing your stories) are sharing one story a day for the next year (365 to be exact) to show incredible ways we could meet the love of our life as well as share insights on the thing we all crave the most as humans - Love. Why? Because we want to be the people who invest in possibilities rather than impossibilities (as well as increase the amount of love in our lives).

Every story would fall in one of the following categories (the category in bold is the one that we will discuss today):

  1. Fictional story of where we could have met someone today (fostering the mindset of possibility)

  2. Factual story of a love story (inspiring us from real life stories)

  3. Insights/thoughts about love


LETS SEE WHAT LOVE HAS IN STORE FOR US TODAY - DAY 6 OF 365 DAYS. LETS KICK THIS OFF!

-Aida


Indecision

.

Self-Doubt

.

Poor Judgement

.

What do these three words have in common?

.

Iyanla Vanzant says it is trust. Or rather lack of it.

The problem with todays culture and lack of trust, is due to the fact that we do not know who we are. In continuation to Sumayya’s story yesterday (Day 5 of 365 Days of Love), I and many of us realized that we walk around the day carrying ourselves without really deeply knowing who we are.

The problem with not knowing who we are is that we do not trust ourselves,

we do not know where our internal compass is,

how to listen to our intuition and

how to differentiate between the right or poor choices for us.

What follows from lack of knowing and trusting ourselves is we lack the capacity to trust in others and unfortunately taking a series of bad decisions such as bad relationships that always lead to some degree of heart break.

There is no greater battle in life than the battle in the parts of u that want to be healed and the parts of you are comfortable and content remaining broken.-2.png

But when thinking of heart break and working on trust I ask, how do we not let our past experiences and heart breaks scar us? How do we let go of the resentment to the people who broke our hearts and the fear of being hurt again? Iyanala’s advice goes back to trust but working on trusting yourself first. She says how the issue is not in trusting people but in trusting yourself to find the right type of people, to hear that inner voice that is guiding us and trust yourself that when people leave you you will be ok.

We all know how to suffer. But when it comes to being open, vulnerable, following our intuition and facing the unknown, can we do that?
— Iyanla

She shares how after being heart broken from every possible person in her life from experiencing rape, being abused, burying her daughter, getting a divorce and sadly more, she concludes that the only way to heal and find contentment in this life is through love. The path to love is trust in the following order:

  1. Trust in yourself

  2. Trust in God

  3. Trust in others

  4. Trust in Life

Iyanla reminds us that an experience you had does not define who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. If you trusted yourself more, you would not have those feelings of indecision, self-doubt and poor judgement because you would know the common truth in our hearts, that all will be ok.

When you live with trust, everything else becomes irrelevant.

That means you should be willing to

stand alone sometimes,

to piss some people off,

to look different,

sound different,

be different.

and those are risks many of us are not willing to do.

Are you?


A big thank you for reading this and taking the time to care for yourself, your heart and your life. If you enjoyed Iyanlas thoughts then listen to her full podcast interview with Oprah here.

If you have a story or thoughts on love that you would like to share please get in touch. We have 359 more articles to share and we hope to hear from you!

Share you story here.

Follow the stories here.

With lots of love,

Aida

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The Power of Showing Up

Showing up. Take a moment to think about these two words.

Think of the number of times you showed up to things, events, meetings.. today.

Think of the number of times you showed up when you were feeling great and it was easy.

Then think of the number of times when the thought of showing up was hard, let alone doing the action of showing up itself. 


On November 1st I showed up and I proudly did so. As you may know i've struggled with severe arthritis for a number of years. I have great days and bad days. The "bad" days seem to be increasing lately and for a while I let it be a barrier to having me show up to things. But yesterday I wanted to show up to support the Jordanian American Association of DC (as I am part of the Executive Committee) to hear from an inspiring speaker, Dr. Julia Nesheiwat.  But I knew I couldn't go in flats or heels because of the arthritis in my feet. 

I was nervous about showing up to the IMF (a large prestigious organization) in my tennis shoes when I knew everyone would be in their heels. I was nervous about looking odd and was trying hard to find something professional to wear with my tennis shoes. As my nerves started building up, my frustration toward my arthritis that attacked my feet increased. I started asking God, why is it in my feet? What is it so hard to do daily simple things such as walking?  

But then I had a sudden shift in mindset. I asked myself to list the things that I can do.
  1. I know I can walk for a couple of minutes in my tennis shoes so that means I can take an Uber to the IMF.
  2. I can sit for 2 hours so that means I can attend the talk.
  3. I can speak so that means I can participate in the meeting.
  4. Finally and most importantly, I can still smile so I can do all the above while still smiling. Listing out these things made me realize how much I CAN do and it felt awesome. 

 

I said so what if I had to go with my tennis shoes. What matters is I had the courage to show up and be there. To not let a challenge over take me but to make the most of it. I happily showed up and left yesterday's meeting feeling empowered by listening to Dr. Julia's talk about her life of reinventing herself in her career that took her in unexpected journeys, and about her commitment to enriching people's lives. But what I really walked away with from her was her unapologetic attitude of her being her and of her showing up during the highs and lows of her work. Of her being comfortable in her own skin even if she was the only woman or the youngest person in the room or whatever other characteristic. She owned it and used her time and skills for something larger than herself. 

jaadc julia.jpg

I hope to use her example as a reminder to myself to keep on serving others, living towards something bigger than myself and to keep on showing up. 

With Love,

Aida 

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Resilience

Every person you know is going through a challenge, including yourself. Some of those people are leaders and others are not. The difference between these two categories i've noticed is the individuals response to their own life challenges which ultimately links back to their level of resilience.

Today I am a social entrepreneur, artist, motivational speaker and food critic not because I planned to be but because I needed them as a way to stay resilient. Many of you who have read my previous posts know I was diagnosed with arthritis in 2011. This diagnosis shook my world and broke me.. for a time period. But I quickly learnt that life is not waiting for me to get up, it will move on with or without me. Knowing this in a sense empowered me to get my act together and reinvent myself in a way I thought was impossible.

Photo by Megan Won 

Photo by Megan Won 

In every challenge life has thrown me I have reinvented myself and learnt how to fly rather than drown. Here are a few examples that I hope inspire you to fly higher when faced with your own life challenges:

Why I became a social entrepreneur?

Problem: Gender inequality is no new concept and is certainly far from over. When I first launched my full career as a 21 year old I unfortunately faced it intensely. I was fed up with this and said I need to do something.

Turning "bad" into beautiful: I co-founded a social enterprise in Jordan that provided women with an avenue to independent cash generation.

At one of the launch's of my start-up Yours & Mine in Jordan

At one of the launch's of my start-up Yours & Mine in Jordan

Why I became an artist?

Problem: I lost my ability to use my hands easily and currently have permanent damage due to bone erosion from arthritis in my left hand.

Turning "bad" into beautiful: Celebrated my semi-functioning hands with finger-painting. Since I started painting 2 years I ago I have had 2 art exhibits in Washington DC (one that is currently ongoing at Artomatic, come visit me in room 8414!). I've not only sold pieces but I've most importantly sent out the message that even if you have a disability you can create beautiful pieces of art.

hand pic painting.jpg

Why I became a motivational speaker?

Problem: Arthritis stripped me away from daily activities in my senior year, a year that is supposed to be the prime of youth. This caused me to face depression at such a young age and face strong internal battles.

Turning "bad" into beautiful: Recovering from these battles was not easy and it needed constant mental training and finding paths of inspiration. I decided to share my story as a way of healing and helping inspire others along the way. Today I have had over 14,000 views online and delivered speeches to over 2,500 people, a blessing I pray to never take for granted.

Why I became a food critic?

Problem: Having arthritis forced me to become gluten-free and as a pizza, pasta and bread loving girl this was hard.

Turning "bad" into beautiful: I became a writing contributor for the Hungry Lobbyist to review restaurants with a gluten-free perspective. This has allowed me to celebrate my love for food and dining to a whole new awesome level. I also help bring awareness to the need of gluten-free friendly restaurants for all my gluten-free friends who became gluten-free not out of pure fun!

Overall I’ve realized that life may or may not get easier but I know that one thing will remain the same – my resilience and reinvention. I am currently working on a few exciting projects that will be launched soon that will take my reinvention a step higher. I hope you join me in this process of reinvention – God knows an individual with a strong supporting community grows and heals much quicker!

Have a story you want to share on your resilence and reinvention? Then share it with me through my contact page on my website or email me at aidamurad@gmail.com

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Maximim Impact, Minimum Effort

Moving to Washington DC was by far the best decision i've ever taken. Why? Because it provided me with the ecosystem for me to unleash myself personally and professionally. It gave me the opportunity to invest in the “Who are you not to do this?” rather than the typical “Who do you think you are to do this?” as I mentioned in my interview with Laura Lee Designs (more can be found here). 

Today I am so proud of myself to say that I am doing everything that I want. I am in a job that I deeply love with a boss that supports my growth in every aspect and challenges me to grow. I am in some aspects paid to do the things I love after my 9 - 5 job which is dining, eating, writing and shopping. I express myself creatively through my art and further writing. I connect with communities and help spark some form of inspiration through my motivational speaking. 

In summary i'm a social entrepreneur, artist, food critic, writer and motivational speaker. and more importantly I am a woman who has time for herself, for her loving family, friends, spirituality and ofcourse a very important factor - sleep. and I do all this while tackling a health condition - Arthritis. 

Photography by Megan Won

Many people have asked me but Aida there are 24 hours in a day how can you do all of these things? and to do them well?  My answer is 1+1=3. The meaning for this equation will have a separate blog post but for now here are a few rules I stick by to keep me going, expanding and achieving:

  1. Strong passion is essential. If I do not love or am passionate about what I am doing, it will be considered work and my goal is to live life without a single day of work. Passion somehow pumps a much needed energy into a person and attracts great opportunities. 
  2. Have clear intentions. knowing the reasons why you want to do what you are planning really makes the path much easier and fuels you with an energy that is unmeasurable. Life also works better with you when you have clear intentions. 
  3. Track your progress. I start every morning with my famous tracker- the tracker that has every aspect of my life where I list everything I am working on and write down the achievements/plans of the day. 
  4. Small progress is what keeps you motivated. Tracking is essential not only so you know where you are but also for rewarding yourself. We as humans need rewards and if I learnt anything in life, it is that the beautiful and miraculous things happen in the small things in life. So pay attention and celebrate the small achievements.
  5. Reflect often. Keep asking yourself what have you done and how can you do it better. Repeat and envision - Maximum impact, minimum effort. 
  6. Keep champions around you and let go of any extra weight. People who achieve great things will receive criticism whether it is good or bad intentioned from people around them. Keep the good intentioned ones but remove the bad ones immediately. As for the good intentioned ones you have to listen to your gut feeling because sometimes their doubt can get to you and slow you down, but sometimes their input can be helpful. So just pay attention and follow your gut feeling. 
  7. Try something new everyday. This is essential as it keeps you grounded and helps you go out of your comfort zone. Every day I list 3 things I did that pushed me out of my comfort zone and into the magic zone. What were yours for the day? Remember they can be extraordinary and ordinary things (small is indeed beautiful).
  8. Finally, Keep on envisioning and believing in your self and going for it. You will face failure in some aspects but that's one of the beautiful things of success so don't fear it. Go back to your intention, your dream and refuel yourself for another day in this beautiful journey. 

If you ever need some help in brainstorming about achieving your next goal or have some tips for others please reach out to me through my website on the contact page. Looking forward to hearing from you. Hope you have a magical and beautiful day!

With Love, 

Aida

 

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