I always was happy with my trait of being independent. Even if my family offered to provide I always wanted to provide for myself. Fast forward to the age of 27, I today can’t walk easily without some kind of drug. I’ve tried not taking them but I need them. Yesterday at 2 am after another failed experiment of trying to go drug-free to stay in line with my not needing anything, I felt defeated again after swallowing the two pills.
I let the emotions of defeat overcome me once again, but a split second later I reminded myself that this is all a matter of perspective and investment – Simply, are you going to invest in and commit to the negative or the positive perspective? It is that simple.
In my case my two options were:
- Option 1 (Negative): Let the drug put me on a leash, where I identify myself as damaged and completely dependent on a thing in the form of a pill and no longer see myself as whole. The future seems pretty grim in this option.
- Option 2 (Positive): See the drug as a stepping stone, a kind of crutch that will help me to eventually stand on my feet alone. I am still the same Aida, beautiful and strong, where the drug doesn’t define me, it’s just there for me to lean on. The future seems more optimistic in this one.
If you haven’t guessed, i'm choosing option 2 : )
As I meet more people in life, I’ve seen how people try so hard to cover up their vulnerable points, their pains and scars but I realized we as humans are not meant to be alone. We need each other, we need community, we need support. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less strong or beautiful or pure. In-fact, by being vulnerable and allowing yourself to lean on other things will create the space for a quicker recovery.
So with this today, I am training myself (because it is hard work) to invest in & commit to the positive over and over again and to keep myself open for the people who need someone to lean on. Maybe you can do the same for yourself, family, friend..maybe even a stranger.