Contributed by: An anonymous woman
Story from: Montreal, Canada
Sex is a beautiful thing. It is especially beautiful, powerful and much more satisfying when it is with someone you love. But as I gained more experience in sex I still wondered why did I not orgasm every time I slept with my husband while he did EVERY SINGLE TIME? To confirm I was not crazy turns out my friends had the same outcome:
Men Orgasm > Women Orgasm
There is a clear gender orgasm gap and I wanted to understand why because God damn it I want to start having an orgasm every time, if my husband does why can’t I?
I interviewed women but most importantly I interviewed myself and I found one key finding:
I was programmed growing up to please the man and along the way forgot to please myself.
I never realized that my husband would want to please me, he never ever said ok he is tired of going down on me, he infact always wanted to start with me, he never made me feel he was tired of making love to me (thankfully!).
I just felt shy and ashamed to have spend him a lot of time on me.
I found myself asking these questions to myself without even realizing - What if I take too long? What if he gets tired along the way? I don’t want this to be all about me etc. But this type of thinking has only left me unsatisfied and if you are in a true marriage of partnership having one unsatisfied partner makes for an unsatisfied marriage. So I realized by not allowing myself to take my time to orgasm and giving my husband the time to please me I was being selfish.
After thinking deeply about this I shared it with my husband and immediately what happened he carried me and threw me to the bedroom. It was the best sex and most memorable orgasm I have ever had just because I had this simple shift in perspective and I communicated it with my lovely husband.
Now I am so happy to say orgasms are a norm in our relationship, I still need to remind myself its okay but thats where having picked a husband that desires and loves me comes in handy because the I forget he reminds me and helps me leave my body.
Ladies, point of this story is to allow yourselves to be satisfied. Orgasm, every single time. You deserve it.
This is Aida, Founder of 365 Days of Love <3
Thank you to the woman in Canada for this beautiful story. I never thought of this type of gender gap. I would love to hear from more women and men on their thoughts of this!
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With Lots of Love,